I Don't Know Why You Say Goodbye



New meds and back from the dead. Sunday and listening to Coast to Coast A.M. show about angels, getting ready to clean house. Think some stuff got resolved in dreams last night, though no clear idea what. I actually slept through the night! Kids with BFI until tonight. Disturbing images of the silver revolver gone away again. Being crazy is exhausting.

Back

We try a new drug, a new combination
of drugs, and suddenly
I fall into my life again

like a vole picked up by a storm
then dropped three valleys
and two mountains away from home.

I can find my way back. I know
I will recognize the store
where I used to buy milk and gas.

I remember the house and barn,
the rake, the blue cups and plates,
the Russian novels I loved so much,

and the black silk nightgown
that he once thrust
into the toe of my Christmas stocking.

Jane Kenyon