God and October
This is my favorite month. Jack was born in October and the trees are at their most gorgeous in October. I got married on October 2, and while you might think that would ruin the month for me, it does not. Every October 2nd I congratulate myself for escaping a very BAD marriage. Imagine what October 2nd would be like if I was still married to BFI, a day of handwringing and regret. I was also baptized on October 2nd, which seems like a good thing for no reason that makes sense. I am going to the movies tonight to see Religulous. Jr. thinks I am going to burn in hell. I think I am going to laugh a lot and have my feelings about religious zealots reinforced. And yet I still believe in God. I attended a christening last Sunday in the church I attended as a kid. Realized I love the church itself while feeling contempt for the priest who stands at the front like a little god sermonizing at me. My favorite time to be in a church is when it is empty. You can feel god then. When there is a service, all I can think is where is the feminine in all this, the power of the female? I can't bring myself to feel reverence for christianity, although the jury is still out on Christ.
Water
If I were called in
To construct a religion
I should make use of water.
Going to church
Would entail a fording
To dry, different clothes;
My litany would employ
Images of sousing,
A furious devout drench,
And I should raise in the east
A glass of water
Where any-angled light
Would congregate endlessly.
Philip Larkin
This is my favorite month. Jack was born in October and the trees are at their most gorgeous in October. I got married on October 2, and while you might think that would ruin the month for me, it does not. Every October 2nd I congratulate myself for escaping a very BAD marriage. Imagine what October 2nd would be like if I was still married to BFI, a day of handwringing and regret. I was also baptized on October 2nd, which seems like a good thing for no reason that makes sense. I am going to the movies tonight to see Religulous. Jr. thinks I am going to burn in hell. I think I am going to laugh a lot and have my feelings about religious zealots reinforced. And yet I still believe in God. I attended a christening last Sunday in the church I attended as a kid. Realized I love the church itself while feeling contempt for the priest who stands at the front like a little god sermonizing at me. My favorite time to be in a church is when it is empty. You can feel god then. When there is a service, all I can think is where is the feminine in all this, the power of the female? I can't bring myself to feel reverence for christianity, although the jury is still out on Christ.
Water
If I were called in
To construct a religion
I should make use of water.
Going to church
Would entail a fording
To dry, different clothes;
My litany would employ
Images of sousing,
A furious devout drench,
And I should raise in the east
A glass of water
Where any-angled light
Would congregate endlessly.
Philip Larkin
posted by MJ at 11:26 AM
4 Comments:
i too love October, though the change of seasons is less noticeable here. I love it because it is the first whisper of promise that summer will eventually end.
I don't think it is merely coincidence that most of the worlds major religions have water figuring prominently in their rituals. judaism's mikhva, Islam's ablutions, the misogi in shinto. and of course baptism and sprinkling in the christian sects.
water is life.
Ah, yes, water as life. You just answered my question regarding why I find my baptism date important. I actually answered my own question with the poem, without realizing it. You are the bee's knees Buddy!
FP, Your post today is wonderful. Can I re-post here?
I could never feel God in Church at all, until I attended a Mennonite church service. As the elder women of the church laid hands on a troubled church member I cried and felt the presence of goodness. I think the pomp and ceremony of Catholic church services drown God out. While I'm sure movie Religulous is hilarious, I am still afraid of being struck down by God for enjoying a film that mocks him/her.
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