AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh
Saturday afternoon and taking Kate to see Bee movie later. I don't want to see Bee movie, I don't want to clean this house or go to the grocery store or do anything else I have to do. I want the kids to disappear and I want to write. Their father, Boat Boy, is probably still sleeping off last night's party in his cabin on the harbor. No child support from him and no time with the kids spent by him. He emailed me that he wasn't evading my phone calls re: missing support--his phone was destroyed because he "fell in the water." There is no God because instead of drowning, Cap'n Chrissy was well enough to email me. If I don't get out of this house minus children in a place that isn't Binder I am going to kill myself. Walls closing in, anxiety attacks back and I'm fat as a house (3:00 am Halloween chocolate watching What Not to Wear and America's Psychic Challenge.) Something has got to give.
I Am Vertical
But I would rather be horizontal.
I am not a tree with my root in the soil
Sucking up minerals and motherly love
So that each March I may gleam into leaf,
Nor am I the beauty of a garden bed
Attracting my share of Ahs and spectacularly painted,
Unknowing I must soon unpetal.
Compared with me, a tree is immortal
And a flower-head not tall, but more startling,
And I want the one's longevity and the other's daring.
Tonight, in the infinitesimal light of the stars,
The trees and flowers have been strewing their cool odors.
I walk among them, but none of them are noticing.
Sometimes I think that when I am sleeping
I must most perfectly resemble them--
Thoughts gone dim.
It is more natural to me, lying down.
Then the sky and I are in open conversation,
And I shall be useful when I lie down finally:
The the trees may touch me for once, and the flowers have time for me.
Sylvia Plath
Saturday afternoon and taking Kate to see Bee movie later. I don't want to see Bee movie, I don't want to clean this house or go to the grocery store or do anything else I have to do. I want the kids to disappear and I want to write. Their father, Boat Boy, is probably still sleeping off last night's party in his cabin on the harbor. No child support from him and no time with the kids spent by him. He emailed me that he wasn't evading my phone calls re: missing support--his phone was destroyed because he "fell in the water." There is no God because instead of drowning, Cap'n Chrissy was well enough to email me. If I don't get out of this house minus children in a place that isn't Binder I am going to kill myself. Walls closing in, anxiety attacks back and I'm fat as a house (3:00 am Halloween chocolate watching What Not to Wear and America's Psychic Challenge.) Something has got to give.
I Am Vertical
But I would rather be horizontal.
I am not a tree with my root in the soil
Sucking up minerals and motherly love
So that each March I may gleam into leaf,
Nor am I the beauty of a garden bed
Attracting my share of Ahs and spectacularly painted,
Unknowing I must soon unpetal.
Compared with me, a tree is immortal
And a flower-head not tall, but more startling,
And I want the one's longevity and the other's daring.
Tonight, in the infinitesimal light of the stars,
The trees and flowers have been strewing their cool odors.
I walk among them, but none of them are noticing.
Sometimes I think that when I am sleeping
I must most perfectly resemble them--
Thoughts gone dim.
It is more natural to me, lying down.
Then the sky and I are in open conversation,
And I shall be useful when I lie down finally:
The the trees may touch me for once, and the flowers have time for me.
Sylvia Plath
posted by MJ at 1:50 PM
3 Comments:
dont known the sitch with the ex but you can stick the attorney general on him and put him in jail for nonpayment.
have you pursued that? i mean if he aint gonna pay anyway, he may as well not pay in prison.
Oh yes, the court stopped short of putting him in jail but did take his license away. Then he told a judge during a hearing that he couldn't get a job because they took away his license. They gave it back, he got a job within walking distance of his apt as a deli boy, they re-start garnishing his pay, court over. I ask the judge what about his other off the books job with brother, get told "That's another court case." SO, after over a year of court battle, at least we are getting something from deli boy. THen deli boy quits his paid job to work exclusively for bro, off books. Which the court won't look into garnishing until I petition for new court date through child support bureau. I hate court, which takes forever for minimal results and which I have to miss work to go to. But of course I have to go back now because (what a surprise) he is not sending child support money through the court on his own volition. Maybe this time they'll put his useless ass in prison.
I am so sad for the babies, they love that shiftless idiot! Maybe the ghost of Christmas past will come and visit him on the boat and set him straight.
Troy June has a new tooth brush that Kate Rebecca is welcome to the next time she visits.
Post a Comment
<< Home